What I Miss

I didn't realize until now just how badly I mishandled our relationship. By being apart and not talking for so long, I quickly learned that you were everything I ever wanted and, by being so afraid of losing you, I ended up chasing you away by scaring you. It wasn't until now that I've realized that instead of complaining about the time I didn't have with you, I should've cherished the time I did have because it was real and filled with affection.

You are always on my mind. I realize now how special it was to hear your voice.

I realize I miss all the little things you do. I miss the way we look into each other's eyes and understand without saying a word. I miss the way you trust me with your children and you with mine. I miss the way you write "I love you" on a steamy window or mirror. I miss the way you signed to me that you love me or give me a kiss or hug while the kids aren't watching. I miss the way we joke that we are attached at the hip while fixing supper and the way we wrestle while tickling each other. I could go on and on, but you know what I'm saying. Yes, it's the little things I miss the most. The little things that I recklessly take for granted.

The promise I made to you is a promise that I will keep forever, no matter what. You will always hold the prime place in my heart. Even though I'm dating here and there, I compare each one to you. You've set the bar very high for me, and that's a good thing because I refuse to settle for anything less. When I read your e-mail, it was the happiest I'd been in weeks because I regained a friend who means the world to me.

Before I close, I want to sincerely say one last thing straight from my heart. I'm sorry I tried to force you to play by my rules. I realize now that what I miss the very most is you!