How to Write the Perfect Love Letter

Larry Barkdull
Award-Winning, Nationally Recognized Writer

Maybe your heart is beating wildly or maybe it is broken. Either way, you wish you could say what you feel, but every time you try, you come up short. Welcome to the complicated world of love! Take comfort in knowing that poets and statesmen have struggled with the same question—"How do I write the perfect love letter?" Here are some simple guidelines that can help.

  • Presentation. Use beautiful stationery (a neutral, soft color, such as cream or white) and a flair pen with black or brown ink—no blues, greens or reds! Remember, your Love Letter is being written to someone special. Hand-written letters are best. This is personal—you are not writing a business letter!
  • Ambience. Go to a secluded place and put on soft, romantic music. A quiet room would be nice. Dim the lights. Stimulate a romantic mood.
  • Keepsake. Date your Love Letter (month, day, year). This is a letter that will be treasured and remembered. You can bet that it will be read over and over and safeguarded in a special place.
  • Greeting. Choose an endearing salutation. Don't be formal. Use your love's first name. For example: "My dearest Jennifer . . ." or "My darling Matt . . ."
  • Beginning. Start your Love Letter by telling your beloved your reasons for writing. For instance: "I have lain awake many sleepless nights trying to compose words that might adequately describe the feelings of my heart. But every time I have made the attempt, I have failed miserably. Please forgive my poor effort and accept a trite and simple phrase: I love you. I think I can say it no better than that..." Never insult your beloved's feelings or belittle yourself by saying something like: "I know you probably don't feel this way," or "You must think I'm crazy." If you are timid in your Love Letter, your attempt at conveying heartfelt words will fall flat and might be misunderstood.
  • Body. The body of the Love Letter should include reasons for why you fell in love. Here are some ideas:
    • recall when you fell in love with him/her
    • explain how your life has changed for the better
    • describe how much you miss your love when you're apart
    • explain that you can't imagine life without him/her
    • list some of the many things you have in common
    • tell how wonderful and complete he/she makes you feel
    • recall some special moments you've shared together
    • mention times you've picked him/her out of a crowd
    • list qualities that set him/her apart from everyone else

    Avoid being casual, too light-hearted, or openly erotic. A Love Letter is a letter of respect that coveys deep, difficult-to-express feelings. Don't discount the impact of poetry in place of, or in addition to, your words. Maybe your beloved has a favorite author or poet. It will be seen as a compliment if you take the time to quote someone he/she admires. Be sure to give proper credit where it's due. Don't forget the Internet is a great place to find that poem or song you are trying to quote!

    Be real. Your Love Letter should be a carefully crafted work of art, but it also needs to sound sincere. You want your Love Letter to make your beloved fall in love, not fall into laughter. Be confident as you express your emotions, dreams, and vulnerability.

    NOTE: don't expect your first attempt will be the letter you send. Practice on scrap paper before you start writing on your good stationery. REVISE, then leave it for a few hours, then return and revise it again. Read it again in the morning before you send it. You'll improve it, as well as have fewer regrets—guaranteed!

  • Closing. End your Love Letter with carefully worded prose: "There, I have said it. I can rest now. And as I dream, I will dream of you." Make your closing upbeat and positive.
  • Valediction. Don't just end with: "Love, Eric." Even if you said, "All my love," it would be better. You become even more romantic by writing something like: "Dream of me, my love..." What you want is a simple, yet heartfelt goodbye: "With undying love," or "Forever yours." Remember, you may think this is too sappy, but your loved one will treasure each word. Be prepared to have it quoted to you in years to come.
  • Insert. Include a special extra: petals from a flower, sprinkles of stars, a teabag of your favorite tea ...You get the idea. That little extra effort means you really put some thought (and heart) into this.
  • Neatness counts. Gently fold the Love Letter and place it in a neatly addressed envelope—hopefully, one that matches your stationery. The correct way is to fold a small stationery sheet (or sheets) in half with the text on the inside. Place the letter in the envelope with the crease at the bottom and the salutation facing the back. Hand address the envelope. Remember what your elementary teacher taught you about penmanship—make sure your love is able to read your writing! Add a stamp that looks romantic—the Garden Bouquet stamps are nice—and affix it upside down. It is a custom that means, "I love you." Drop the letter in the mail. That's it! Expect an emotional response. And here's another tip: buy some breath mints—you'll need them!
  • Be expressive. Here are some popular words to use in your Love Letter: angel, angelic, lover, giving, alluring, tempting, sensual, sensuality, seeing, tasting, touching, holding, caressing, memories, memorable, darling, gorgeous, absence, velvet, voyage, beautiful, vision, elation, blossoms, happy, kisses, innocent, passion, dreaming, delirious, temptation, complete, desire, content, embrace, rainbow, rose, adoring, stars, privileged, heart.

Love Letter Topics

  1. Confessions
  2. Lost Love
  3. Love You
  4. Miss You
  5. Second Chance
  6. Sorry
  7. Thinking of You
  8. Can we start over? (Let's see if the magic is still there.)
  9. Dear Ex: Things turned out okay for everyone. (We're older now, but wiser.)
  10. Goodbye forever (It's time to go our separate ways.)
  11. Happy Anniversary! (Thanks for always being there!)
  12. Has someone come between us? (I see the telltale signs.)
  13. I love you. (Last night was unforgettable!)
  14. I really miss you. (Please come home soon.)
  15. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. (My love is real and so is my commitment!)
  16. I'd like to get to know you better. (Do you remember me?)
  17. I'll do whatever it takes. (Just please come back.)
  18. I'm falling for you. (We're made for each other!)
  19. I'm glad we went out together. (I want to see you again.)
  20. Let's part on good terms while we can. (It's time to go our separate ways.)
  21. Please forgive me. (This relationship is worth saving!)
  22. Sorry we didn't agree. (But can we kiss and make up?)
  23. Sorry, this isn't working for me anymore. (We need to separate for a while.)
  24. Tell me what I did wrong. (I know I can make it up to you.)
  25. That was a stupid thing I said/did. (But I don't usually behave this way.)
  26. Too many things have come between us. (Let's go back to the way we were.)
  27. We need to see a marriage counselor. (It's time we let someone come between us!)
  28. We need to slow down. (I'm feeling a little crowded!)
  29. We never really talk. (Tell me what you're thinking.)
  30. We've come to a standstill. (Let's reconsider our goals.)
  31. You mean everything to me. (You're my better half; we make each other whole!)
  32. You really hurt me. (But tell me your side of it—I'm listening!)