Example Letter #1
I never thought I would be writing you this letter. There was a time when I thought our love would stand the test of time and nothing could come between us. Unfortunately, the years have chipped away at our once perfect relationship and there is nothing left to hold on to. The way things are now, we are no longer a positive influence in each other's life. We just make each other miserable instead of happy, and make life harder rather than easier. It is time to call it quits and go our separate ways.
I want you to know that I am not blaming you. I think we have both done everything we could and pursued every option available to try to keep this relationship together, but nothing has helped. We've had trial separations, gone to a marriage counselor for months, read self-help books and ordered Dr. Phil's tapes. It should be clear to both of us by now that we are fighting a losing battle. The simplest problem or disagreement always gets blown up out of proportion and meaningful communication is no longer possible. The tension in our apartment is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
How many times have we said we have had enough and never wanted to see each other again, only to kiss and make up, then try again? Well, someone has to be the one to say enough is enough and I am doing it now. This time I am not coming back. I have moved in with an old friend until I can make other arrangements. When you come home and find this letter you will also see that I have packed my things and my drawers are empty. Inevitably, there will be things that mean so much to both of us that we will have to sit down together and decide who gets what. If we cannot do that amicably, then we will have to get lawyers to sort it out.
I believe that parting now is the best thing for both us. We still have our careers we can concentrate on and we both have friendly relationships with the children. Even though they are adults now, I know they will find this news painful, but it was also painful for them to come to visit and find us squabbling. No solution will please everyone or solve all our problems. We still have happy memories from the past; we need to concentrate on making the present as happy as possible and try to keep a positive outlook on the future. I think a year from now we will both be doing so much better that we'll probably wonder why we hadn't ended the relationship sooner.
I want you to know I wish you all the best. You have a lot of great qualities that will serve you well in the future. Let's try to remember the good times, let go of our present miseries, and have the common sense to move on.
Goodbye and farewell.
Example Letter #2
I know that I was the one that suggested that we try yet again to work things out and start over, but I've finally realized something: we're just not right for each other; we're just not compatible. I think that last night proved that. Not that I'm blaming you for what happened. I suppose that we just never were really meant to be together. So this time, instead of chasing after a happiness that we're just not going to find together, let's end things now, before things get worse again.
We've tried to work things out so many times over the last year but nothing ever changes. Again, it's no one's fault. We are the way we are: headstrong, passionate, stubborn--was it your dad who called it "bullheaded"? Anyway, these similarities that give us our independent spirits and initially drew us together seem to be the very characteristics that always drive a wedge between us. The beautiful makeup episodes that always follow don't make it any better. We still come back to the same thing: neither one of us can bend on the issues that are really important to us, and there are just too many crucial things that we can't see eye to eye on.
So I'm done this time, Jake. By the time you get this letter, I'll already be gone. Please don't try to contact me. I've made up my mind, and even your sweet talk, persuasive as it is, won't make me change my mind this time. I'm getting off this roller coaster ride once and for all.
I'm truly sorry for the pain that this breakup will cause you. It's not going to be easy for me either, believe me. I really wish things didn't have to be this way, but you'll see, by and by, that I'm right in ending our relationship. It just won't work. Someday, I know, you'll agree that it was the best thing for both of us.
Whatever happens, I wish you well. You truly do deserve the best that life has to offer you. Please know that I do love you, and a part of me always will.
Example Letter #3
This is a letter that I never thought I would have to write. To say that I've agonized over it is an understatement. I come to it now without having had much sleep for a few days, but with a clear realization of what I must say and do.
Let me start by saying what I think we both feel, but what we've both been unable to say out loud: our relationship is not working, and it hasn't worked for a long time. In fact, rather than strengthening our lives, it just weighs us down and makes our lives more difficult. We've tried calm discussions, silence, arguing--we even tried a counselor. How many times have we decided to 'kiss and make up' only to find ourselves battling the same demons once again?
A few days ago, I started to make a two-column list: your issues and mine. Then I realized that it was a waste of time. I came to the conclusion that no one is at fault. We are simply two different personalities who have tried to make a relationship work and just couldn't do it. This brings me to one of the hardest decisions of my life--I've got to move on.
I hope you will honor my decision and not ask me to reconsider, as I have not arrived at it casually. I do not want either one of us to go through this painful process twice because I truly believe that this is the best resolution for both of us. We still have an opportunity to part quietly and with dignity, and I think we should take it now.
I wish you well and I hope you will believe that this is not just a trite phrase. I have always wanted you to be happy, so please believe me now when I say that I wish you a wonderful and fulfilling life.
Goodbye my dear friend.
Example Letter #4
This letter is probably long overdue, but I put it off because I loved you, I wanted things to work out, and I didn't want to hurt you. But the time has come. Our relationship just isn't working anymore. It is causing more pain than joy for both of us.
There's no point going over our problems; we both know what they are. And we also both know everything we've done to try to work them out. And we have tried, haven't we? We had some really great talks about what needed to change, but nothing did. We even sought professional help but, apparently, we were past that point already.
I've thought about this a lot and I know in my heart that we will both be happier with other people. I will not be coming back. We both need to move on with our lives and find relationships better suited to our individual needs.
We loved each other well--for a time. A small part of my heart will always remember that love and remember the happy times we had together, for there were many.
I truly wish you the best of luck and happiness in your life--with your job, with your family, and with finding a new love.