Secret Love


I want to tell you that I need you here with me from now on. I live day to day thinking about you. I picture everything about you in my mind, as if you were really here beside me. When I fall asleep, I dream of you, and I can feel you near me.

My world is spinning and I can't sleep. My throat closes whenever you speak. My heart bursts just being around you. I take note of your every word, your every movement. My eyes drop down whenever you look at me with that bashful smile. This tension is tearing me apart.

How can I get closer to you? I'm too shy to talk to you, so right now it feels safer to watch you from afar and not be rejected. You have a place in my mind. I wish you'd tell me everything I want to hear, but haven't yet. I want you to tell me that you want me, but I haven't heard that yet. Every time I think of you, I can feel the butterflies fluttering inside me. You don't notice me or the way I look at you; maybe it's because you only see me as a friend and nothing more. I wish I knew.

At night I lay in bed and dream of you coming to my door, pulling me to you and holding me tight. I imagine whispering in your ear how much I want you. I want you to hold me. I need to hear your voice. I imagine being wrapped in your arms and then pressed tightly against you. I want you to make me feel a part of you. Every time we touched, I would feel like we're the only ones in existence.

But as I sit here, watching the sun drop slowly into the horizon, my heart sinks with it. When will I learn? You would never want me. I'm not perfect, beautiful, or anything important. I will have to let go the dream of you and me together.

Your secret love,