The Hardest Thing to Do...


It has almost been one and a half years since I had the honor of holding you in my arms, and it has been one and a half years since we looked into each other's eyes and said, "I love you."

What started out as a sincere friendship turned into a strong bond between two lovers who found out the true meaning of love the hard way. The journey seems so long, sometimes, and at the same time it seems so short. To me it feels like time is purposely bending and stretching itself so that it can play its part in making us feel the joy and pain of what it is to truly be in a long-distance relationship. All I know is, as time goes by, I learn a lot from this love, and I have learned what it is like to give myself completely to another person when the two of us are so far apart. The most important thing I learned, among many important things, was to trust and to be faithful to the one I love.

I just got done chatting with you on the Internet after you had signed on to say "good night," but in my heart I did not want to do that--say "good night," that is. I just wish that time had frozen that short time before we had to say those words. I enjoyed every single moment with you, and how we talked about all of the things we liked and disliked. Tonight you told me how you liked the music CD your brother bought for you, and you asked me what music groups I liked, too. I really wish I could have been there to hear that music with you.

I am sitting here in my room and writing this message now, hoping you will get to read it when you come back from work later if you go online, but if not, then at least I know this letter will reach you sooner or later. I am listening to some love songs that I burned onto a CD I'm making. Although I don't understand the words because the songs are in Spanish, I know that they are about love, and I like them a lot. I really don't understand how my love works, but all I know is that the love I have for you is just like the Spanish music I am listening to now. I know that my life is much happier when you're around me and that my life is filled with music just thinking about you.

I want to let you know that I am so in love with you, and I have learned a lot from this relationship. I promise you that I will do my best to make you feel loved and secure, even though there are thousands of miles between us.

Thank you for making my life so much more meaningful and giving me this chance to tell you what love means to me. I know that I am supposed to go to sleep soon, but there is so much more I want to tell you, and I am still so wound up. Being away from you is so hard for me because it is like giving up a part of my life that is essential to me.

I have built my world around you, and I really like the world that we have built together. I always want to stay in that world and never want to leave it, and I hope that you feel the same way, too.

Now is the hardest part for me to do. I have to say "goodbye" and "goodnight," because I need to go to sleep soon. But I know that as soon as I close my eyes I will be there with you, and it makes me so happy again. I love you with all my heart, and I want you to know that I really miss you. Please take care and have a nice day tomorrow. May you feel me wanting to be with you now, and may I touch your heart and let you feel my love. Take care, Lisa, and know that I am sending all my love to you across the miles.